When you are divorced and you find love again, everybody is happy—sometimes not the kids right away though! You want to keep some important things in mind as you make these new introductions to ensure that everything goes well.
1. Take it slow. No matter how old the kids are, divorce can be hard on them. If you are now introducing your kids to the new person in your life be sure to take it slow. They may have allegiance to your ex or may just be taking it hard so if you rush it then it can cause some damage. This doesn’t mean that you should hide the relationship but just know when the time is right for introductions. This doesn’t always come easily and can be an adjustment for all, but if you take it slow then it’s much easier to fall in line.

2. Prepare them in advance. Don’t ever surprise your kids with a meeting of your new partner. This will backfire and cause a certain mistrust right away. Though you may be tempted to just see what happens this philosophy can be a terrible one. Take your time to prepare them that you are seeing somebody and tell them how much you’d like them to meet. This can give them time to process and prepare for that first meeting.

3. Find a good neutral meeting spot. If you invite them over to your new partner’s house then this can immediately put your child on the defensive. If you invite them over to your house then they feel that they are in their own territory and that they have home advantage. Meet at a restaurant or some other neutral location and then you may find that this works best for the right level of interaction.

4. Show them how happy you are. If your kids see how happy you are with this new person, they will eventually come around. No matter how hard the divorce may have been on them they want to see their parents happy. Show them how happy you are and explain how good this relationship is for you. This can make not only the first meeting go well but the whole dynamic can be more manageable.

5. Be prepared for their reaction. There are a whole slew of reactions that your child may have, no matter what the age or level of preparedness. Be ready for this and know that you may not always get the reaction that you are hoping for. This doesn’t mean that they won’t come around and it doesn’t even mean that things are off to a rocky start. They may just need time to process everything so just be ready.

6. Let them get to know them to see what you like so much. There’s a reason that you like this new person so much. Let them see what it is that you like so much and then it will all fall in line. Let them learn the qualities that you like and then they will be sure to follow. Let them get some time to get to know this person and you will have smooth sailing ahead.

Introducing kids at any age to a new partner can be rough. If you are prepared for anything and keep these things in mind, it will all go much smoother in the long run.

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